For me, it’s been a blessing to have a very large extended family. I have happy memories of many aunts, uncles, and cousins from my childhood and beyond, especially in and around the farm my grandparents lived on in Nashville, Ontario.

However, it’s also a curse in having a large extended family.  Eventually, there will come a time when you need say goodbye for the last time, over and over again.

This has been a bad year for funerals.  So many to say goodbye to.  So many instances of saying, “Hey, I haven’t seen you since the last [insert wedding/funeral here]”.  That special shuffle we all make, and the common saying – we need to have a time to get together when it’s NOT a wedding or funeral.

Said way too many times, over and over again.

Today, I had to say goodbye to my 2nd cousin, Barb Pinck.  Barb was probably one of my favourite cousins growing up, being only 12 years older than me, in that sweet spot of being the cute little kid that the teenagers all could dote on.  I remember clearly when she married her husband Tim  (who, believe it or not was the first “other” Tim I had ever met) and when her eldest son Ryan was born (they even lived with us at our farm on Cold Creek Rd. for a short time).

Barb always had a smile and a hug for me, and loved family reunions dearly.  She was also someone who I never got tired of calling me “Timmy”.  Something she was still doing when I saw her earlier this year.

Barb survived a lot in her life.  She was born premature, weighing only 3 pounds.  Then around 30 years ago she was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, and we all thought we would lose her then. But through sheer force of will and the right medications she percevered until recently.

In that time, she raised two wonderful kids and was a loving grandmother to four more.

Barb loved the phone and had the gift of gab.  Back before the days of call waiting, I pretty much figured that if I could not get through to my grandparents for more than a few hours on the phone to not panic.  It was just Grandma and Barb having one of their regular chats.

Today’s officiant recited a poem that truly echoed with me….somebody who has become so tied up in schedules that I have little chance to slow down and relax.  Today I throw myself a challenge to find those moments again.

Slow Dance by Matt Hogan

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?

When you ask: How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won’t last.

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time
To call and say, “Hi”?

You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short
The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower.

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Rest in Peace, Barb.  You will never be forgotten.